A brief introduction

Punternet.com is a British website where ‘punters’ (sex buyers) post reviews of ‘escorts’ (sex sellers); [1] the site also hosts a discussion forum. I joined in 2009,[2] read reviews and eavesdropped on discussions between punters. In this document I present comments posted by punters on Punternet. They expose as a lie the claims that punters are single men who are lonely. The survey and quotes make it clear that most punters are in a romantic relationship with a woman who thinks he is faithful.

The word ‘escort’ in this context refers to a woman who (according to Punternet) freely chose the job and works freelance, unforced, indoors (home, brothel, massage parlour, hotel). This is the type of prostitution that most people think benign, and which punters and the English Collective of Prostitutes passionately defend.

Why do you use escorts?

A poll on Punternet revealed that only 28% cannot find a sexual partner without paying. Of the other 72%, nearly half admit that they are in a sexual relationship and the rest could not be bothered to find one.

punters-reasons-smaller

I can’t get free sex, no how, no way, no sirree… 46 28.22%
I can get free sex if I go out hunting, but I can’t be arsed… 38 23.31%
I can get SOME free sex at home, but not enough… 28 17.18%
I have plenty of free sex at home, but not the ‘interesting’ stuff 16 9.82%
I’m a greedy sod. 35 21.47%

What they said

Here are some of the punters’ comments on the poll:

‘Men go to prostitutes to cheat without getting caught.’

‘I can scan an agency website just as I do a Chinese takeaway menu and say ‘yes, I’ll have that tonight’.’

‘I punt because my cock tells me to. He decides who and when to book, too. “I think I would like a petite oriental girl” he says. “With tiny boobs”. “Yes sir”, I say and then I go along with him to the booking… Then he’ll say “I want a nice big booby kind of gal with a big bum!” and so on. He sure has been fun to live with.’

‘I have a good sex life at home so I only punt for variety… sometimes I want something quick and sleazy in a parlour, getting a handjob or blowjob while the wife’s shopping and you have a few minutes to spare before you meet up again and take her home.’

‘It truly is like living in a fantasy world. Walking through a parlour door and getting to pick from a range of girls to suck my cock and be fucked by me. All my teenage fantasies right there.’

[Husband who enjoys a good sex life with his wife]: ‘I guess it’s now greed rather than need and I now have the best of both worlds.’

‘In my case the wife is always ready for it — but I just don’t find it fulfilling and a bit empty — plus she came to me totally inexperienced and it turns me off having to tell a woman what to do, but it would not make a difference as I am just not into her plus she’s a difficult person to live with.’

‘[My wife] does not get how important sex is for me, and puts her own desire not to have sex ahead of my need to… I think that if they… loved their husbands they would not torture them by denying them this fundamental need.’

‘I get plenty of sex at home but I like the buzz of turning up at a location and paying and having to make no effort! Been punting eighteen years and it is an addiction. The town I currently reside in has some of the cheapest girls in the UK, some I see for as little as £20 for full service, however these are no stunners (neither am I but I am clean and presentable and not kinky!) and the buzz I get is only served by seeing new girls.’

‘When the blokes are saying they need sex and the wife’s denying it, apparently they are selfish… Well why can’t a woman if she loves him and knows how he needs sex like she needs someone to listen to her, spread her legs or give him head?  If more women thought like that perhaps less men would be running off to escorts or having affairs.’

‘I am married to a lovely slim attractive wife who I adore, we have a very good and active sex life. I’m 47 and she is 31. But quite simply, I want more! My wife and I without the inhibitions of children enjoy sex nearly every night, often on Saturday and Sunday mornings…Neither of us could do any more to enhance our already active sex life… But once a month I treat myself to an hour with one of a variety of working girls, and have been for ten years, usually a different girl although a few I have visited on more than one occasion, and usually in the 19 to 23 age group. So there is an honest answer, happily married, to a very attractive wife 16 years younger than me, great sex most nights, BUT still wanting more young attractive company once a month. Call me greedy if you like, but my wife and I could not be happier, and before anyone asks if she knows, no she doesn’t.’

‘I like the fact I can just get my kit off and be spoilt for a while, I don’t have to try and make the girl cum… To me it’s just getting my rocks off.’

‘I always said if I got a stunning girlfriend I would stop. Well that’s not correct either. I had a stunning size 10 blonde stunner where I was the envy of my mates. In the bedroom (or anywhere), she did everything, no holes barred and it was plentiful yet I still visited escorts. And most of these escorts were right old stinkers.’

‘Can get free sex but prefer the non commitment offered by escorts. Strange saying that bearing in mind I’m searching for an escort to see on a regular basis. Ho hum. Maybe it’s the lack of arguments instead.’

‘The look of someone who has dressed to thrill and discreetly opens the door to you… Man, it’s a drug. I love my wife dearly and she is a fantastic companion but she just does not take much of a role in the bedroom.’

‘[I punt] so that I can have the sex — without the involvement! I have recently had a couple of opportunities to go out with young ladies in their early 20s but know that ultimately either I will get too involved or they will, causing major problems.’

‘I like the access to easy, uncomplicated sex with a variety of women.’

‘Many [men] don’t want the drama of a girl who wants you to call her every day, put up with her bullshit, etc.’

‘A long time ago I could have had free sex but the chances are fairly high that it would have involved some sort of relationship. Thanks, but no thanks.’

‘I have a desire to have sex but I don’t want anything other than that, so I pay for it, and walk away.’

‘I started cos was no longer getting any at home — now that I’ve discovered the joys of punting I sometimes wonder whether I should thank the wife for creating the situation.’

‘It’s not even like I need sex. It’s great fun, but I’ve gone for months without it and it hasn’t bothered me. But I’m single, it’s there, and I can afford it… why not?’

‘I probably could go out and find someone that would want to fuck me for free, but not anyone that I would be attracted to enough to stick around for more than the time it took to have sex with them. Hire a hooker, and no one gets hurt.’

‘If a wife refuses to prepare food for her husband and that husband pays for food at a restaurant because he cannot be fed at home, should that husband be punished? Should the waitress be punished for providing food service?’

‘On the pull, maybe 1 in 20 women would say yes. This was providing I went for the least attractive women in the club and they were drunk. With attractive women I simply wouldn’t have a hope of getting anywhere.’

‘In punting… it is me not the women who get to be selective and choosey.’

‘When you’re on the pull you are a beggar and beggars can’t be choosers.’

Some elderly men wrote:

‘Pulling is no longer an option for me, the only women I could pull would be grannies, the mere thought of that makes me feel queasy.’

‘Who the hell wants women of my age? There’s enough old bones in my bed when I’m there on my own, I don’t need any more.’

‘I punt because I love slim, pretty young girls and at my age there is no chance of meeting those type of girls in my normal life… I punt because I like young, pretty girls who are young enough to be my daughter — or in some cases my granddaughter.’

‘Because I’m old fat and ugly, and wouldn’t want a permanent relationship with any woman who would want a permanent relationship with someone like me. The fact is, I prefer the occasional company of a relatively young and attractive, not to mention compliant, person of the female persuasion.’

‘We punt because it results in having sex with women of an age and looks that would be very hard to achieve without copious amounts of plastic surgery, an Olympic training regime and/or fat bank balance!’

‘Thanks to sex workers, I can have fun and get jiggy with young, pretty women. I’d rather not have to pay, but it’s their job.’

‘I do not want a permanent or complicated relationship with all the associated baggage, so it’s a-punting I will go. I must say, the variety is also very uplifting… Free sex ain’t free. It costs plenty, comes with the threat of commitment and the old scraggies I could get, 50 year-old plus (at least), might mean three Viagras per go and in retaliation they could go menopausal once it seemed I was on the hook. Anyway, you can’t compare such with those I can purchase for a known price and no commitment.’

One reason men give is to have anal sex.

‘It is a “power trip” for the man, or a sense of him being in control and having the power to hurt/degrade/etc, if he wanted.’

‘Anal is an ultimate giving act and involves submissiveness, hence more power to the man.’

‘For me it is a power thing.’ ‘I do it with very attractive petite oriental escorts pretty often.’

[1] Between 1999 and 2009 Punternet members posted over 90,000 reviews of escorts. Catherine Bennett wrote that Punternet men ‘submit their reports in much the same righteous, easily aggrieved tone as the Good Food Guide’s amateur inspectors.’ The Observer, 20 October 2005.

[2] I am a man who has long been concerned about the abuse of women in prostitution.