This is an edited transcript of Jenna’s talk at the Nordic Model Now! TUC fringe event held in Brighton on 8 September 2025.
Hello, I’m Jenna and I’m going to be speaking about my personal experience of prostitution. I’ve worked in various settings in the sex industry but left it for good several years ago. That’s obviously a brief introduction to who I am and why I’m here. But of course that’s not all I am.
I’m not just an ex-prostitute. I’m also a mother, a partner. I have a job that I’m qualified to do. And I’m also not really ‘Jenna’. That’s just the name I use when I’m talking about my experiences. I do that because it’s part of my life that I don’t always want to remember or be associated with.
When women leave the sex industry, sometimes it’s really hard not to go back. Decriminalising all aspects of the industry. including the pimps and the buyers, would just be yet another call back. Another reason you could find yourself back where you don’t want to be.
It’s really easy to buy sex. It’s as easy as ordering a takeaway, and sometimes not much more money. I don’t agree that it should be that way. We’re humans. We’re not products to be consumed and then rated out of ten.
These men that buy sex, they are in your lives. They’re hospital workers, shop assistants, men in your office. They are not a different class of men. And the women who sell sex are not a different class of women. We feel things the same way you do. When I said, “stop, you’re hurting me,” repeatedly, I was just a sex worker being difficult. When a woman says that outside of that setting, it’s rape.
Well for me it felt the same. It felt like rape. Because that’s what it was. When men secretly remove condoms, that’s rape too. The problem with a society that turns a blind eye to the oppression of women and says that sex work is work, is that we have no idea who we can trust.
Getting into prostitution can feel like a life sentence, even after you leave; the nightmares, the reminders, the feelings that pop up when you are just trying to be happy. The buyers don’t have that. They’re all allowed anonymity. They don’t see the consequences or the damage that’s caused.
What if we make it all legitimate and try and give it a sense of respectability by decriminalising the industry? Will things change for the women? Will the men no longer show up dirty, unshowered? Will the ones that cause pain now change their minds about it? Will they no longer show up with dirt under their fingernails? I have my doubts. But it will certainly make life easier for these men. and for the people who profit from the women they’re using.
There is life after prostitution. There is hope. But we need to be able to call it out for what it is, which is abuse. I consider myself lucky, because when I wanted to leave, it was at a time when I could. And even though it’s been hard and I still have wobbles, even now, today, I would never go back.
Full decriminalisation to me means ‘fair game’. It’s saying that this industry, this secret backstreet world of men using women in some of the most extreme ways imaginable, is OK. It’s not our job to titillate men and make sure their fantasies are fulfilled. That’s not our job or our responsibility as women, although you can see why young girls, or vulnerable women and girls, might think otherwise.
If the first time you’re seeing sex is on a screen that is showing men violating and hurting women, then you can see where the confusion comes from. If the first time you’ve been touched as a child, is by an adult you should have been able to trust, then you can see where the confusion lies. This is the reality for so many of us who have ended up in the industry.
You cannot look me in the eye and tell me sex work is empowering. Holding men to account, showing women that justice can be done, freeing women to be their own people and achieve on their own terms, that’s empowerment. It’s the Nordic Model that can reach for this, not full decriminalisation.
Extreme sexual practices and so-called sex work have become normalised, and the extreme nature of it has become so distorted that it can be barely recognised as sex anymore. We can’t keep going like this.
We’re already seeing the effects on OnlyFans creators, the women who attend parties, as well as women who work in places like parlours. We’ve reached a point where we can see the damage caused. Do we really want more women working in the industry? Because like I said, they are just normal women. They don’t have superpowers not to feel. And the men are just normal men, who don’t always realise the damage being done.
In the years since I left, I’ve had some amazing support, that has changed my life. I’ve had that breathing space to be able to reflect and to really acknowledge what I went through. Women who leave need that.
I’ve had people close to me say, “some women love it”. And I would have said that too. I would. Now it would be my worst nightmare. Amazingly, people make the same statements about men hurting women. If a man enjoys choking a woman or using a whip, it’s, “well, it’s consensual! Don’t kink shame”.
We hurt each other and we get used to being hurt. That’s not enlightened.
Sometimes I get really sad about how accepted this all is. I truly dread to think how many more women would be harmed, how many more men would become regular buyers, if full decriminalisation was brought in. What we have isn’t working. More people involved is not going to solve the problems. What we need is an approach that actually recognises the harm. That doesn’t minimise it or water it down.
As we’ve said today, the Nordic model won’t stop every single woman being hurt, but we need a starting point. We have to jump off this train that is headed for complete devastation.
I myself have attempted suicide many times over the years. I wish I could just forget all the things that happened, but I can’t forget, I can just inform. I can try to stop other women from being harmed, and you can too.
We can’t be squeamish when it comes to making important changes. We have to face up to what we’re up against and be honest about it. The young people in our lives need us to protect them, and to help them feel safe, boys and girls. So, please advocate for young people and say no to decriminalisation and prostitution.