‘Kelly’ sent this account of being a phone sex operator (PSO) through our Share Your Story page, which provides a space for women to tell their stories of the sex industry in their own words.
I have been a phone sex operator on Niteflirt for three years. It has been a horrible, exploitative and traumatizing experience and I am here to tell you what really happens on that site.
I used to be a camgirl (another abusive form of prostitution, but I saw others talking about it, so I won’t elaborate) until I got diagnosed with IBS. IBS creates haemorrhoids and the need for frequent bathroom breaks, so showing my naked body was out of the question. Desperate for money, I turned to the cesspool of sex worker forums who advised me to sign up and become a PSO for Niteflirt. I thought it would be easier. Boy was I wrong! I will tell you several things no one ever told me about that place.
1. The site never bans any John, but they are quick to ban the flirt (that’s the name they use for PSOs). Johns will request things that break the rules of the site dozens of times per day (scat, rape fantasies, children, relatives, animals, racial slurs, etc). Every day I had to block and report dozens of them. Nothing was ever done. In the rare case they got in trouble, they just made a new account and came back. Basically, all the sick Johns banned from cam sites, find their paradise on Niteflirt. Women strapped for cash would entertain their zoophilic/paedo fantasies hoping to not get reported and fired. Many did.
2. The first month the site promotes you and sends traffic to your listings (your online ads) to lure you into thinking you found a good money-making job. It’s not uncommon for new women to work for a few hours every day and make hundreds of dollars. After that, the traffic dries up and you are left shocked and stressed and you practically have to leave your lines open all day (and often all night) to make MAYBE half the money. Also a lot of the men have the habit to call only the new girls and then move on. Retaining regular clients is very difficult.
3. There is constant disrespect, solicitation for hook ups or paid sex. A lot of the men are wildly clueless about basic female anatomy and sexuality. A client asked me to have an orgasm on command staring at a black screen (he did not open his camera). When I told him that women do not climax on command staring at nothingness, he was very surprised.
4. For many flirts, in order to make over $2k monthly, you have to work all day every day without breaks. I felt like some kind of dystopian sex slave, months passing with me trapped alone inside a small room, chained to a phone and camera (for phone with cam). A very isolating and mentally damaging experience.
5. CONSTANT scams. Men attempting to “pay you after a show”, ‘”pay you with an alternative method” or trying to haggle my already low prices.
6. Erotomaniacs or mentally disturbed Johns into parasocial relationships. I had to block a regular caller when he told me he has been telling everyone that he has a long-distance girlfriend and he is serious about her and they are going to get married and his family is very happy for him. Nothing wrong with that in general, except the “long distance girlfriend” was me. He had been paying me by the minute and I never consented to dating him, much less marrying him. I am constantly worried that one of those delusional men will pop up in real life expecting us to marry one day.
7. Harassment and abuse from other phone sex operators. From my experience, they are the worst, most hostile category of prostitutes. Every time a newbie showed up on the forum, they would be attacked, mocked or given plain wrong advice.
I could go on, but you get the point. I had IBS flare ups because of the constant insanity and online abuse. I am always trying to find another job, but it’s very difficult with my disability and health problems.
I get very angry and upset by all this propaganda that sex work is empowering. It is not. Having money in your pocket is empowering, but the things you did and said to get paid are very degrading. Sex work is not real work. I had real jobs before my illness and no one degraded me and if a customer was abusive, security would escort them out. The women who call themselves feminists and promote sex work as a legit choice for young girls are very dangerous and misogynistic. Every time a woman asks me what I think, I tell them my honest truth: run away and stay away!
One day I dream of leaving it all behind me and for these awful men to exit my life for good.
Share your story
If you’ve been in the sex trade, or have been affected by it in other less direct ways, and would like to share your story anonymously, please see our Share Your Story page.