A review of ‘Stacey Dooley Sleeps Over. S6 E1 Lily Phillips: X-Rated Creator’
By Kelly
Stacey Dooley recently made a documentary about Lily Phillips for part of her ‘Sleeps Over’ series. As a survivor of the sex industry, I’m drawn to any documentary looking at the industry, because it was a significant experience in my life.
Whilst my experience was a far cry from the wealth and glamour of Lily Phillips’s lifestyle, there are some inevitable similarities.
The documentary begins with media clips of Lily’s most famous ‘stunt’ – when she ‘slept’ with 100 men in 24 hours. Immediately I’m amazed at the use of the word ‘slept’, as I’m certain no sleeping took place.
Stacey arrives at Lily’s flat in Chelsea and is greeted warmly by Lily. Stacey mentions how her breasts resemble ‘empty crisp packets’ since breastfeeding for 14 months, to which Lily replies by (reassuringly) telling her that ‘there will be men who like them’. Interesting how Lily’s attempt at helping a woman feel better about her post-partum body is in relation to how a man might see it.
I’m reminded that this is how females are conditioned: to define our worth in relation to how attractive we are to men.
Later that evening Lily tells Stacey she is going to do a ‘live’ on Only Fans and says Stacey can watch. Stacey leaves the room and talks to the camera in the next room, hearing the continual sound of the men tipping – the requirement for Lily to take things each step further.
Stacey reflects that Lily must be explicit as there is so much competition.
What’s interesting about Lily is that she comes across like a girl from Chelsea. She may have once been known as a ‘high class hooker.’ She tells Stacey of how she went to uni, but dropped out when she learned about Only Fans and made £2,000 in the first 24 hours. Stacey pushes Lily to admit that she is a millionaire.
The next morning while out driving, Lily pulls over when she sees a group of young labourers and invites them to her ‘event’ later. She tells them they can ‘do whatever they want’ to her. Shortly afterwards while she and Stacey are out walking, she approaches another young male in a high-vis jacket and invites him to the ‘event’. She tells him she’s going to ‘suck everyone’s cock’. The young man is evidently delighted that she has invited him.
Later they meet with Lily’s friend, Arabella, who also makes ‘content’ on Only Fans. Stacey asks her why she does it and she says she ‘likes pleasing people’s fetishes and making people happy.’ Lily agrees that she also ‘likes pleasing’.
I found this particularly sad. Girls are trained from a young age to put the needs of others above their own. We are taught that we need to provide men with sex to keep them happy. This is bad enough when it plays out in intimate relationships. But these young women have come of age at a time when the ability to make millions pleasing men’s appetite for young women to masturbate over and onto is unprecedented. At least that is how it seems. In reality it is very much a minority of ‘content creators’ on OnlyFans who make millions. The average content creator makes only about £132 a month – not at all what all the hype in the media would have you believe. But by the time most girls find that out, it’s too late.
Arabella raises the topic of misogyny, but I’m afraid that her argument falls short. She attempted to justify what she is doing, by saying that the rest of us have it wrong, that society has ‘internalised misogyny’ believing that women can’t enjoy sex. I wanted to scream, ‘Arabella, you are allowed to enjoy sex, have as much sex as you want, but do it with people you desire, people you trust, not in this two-dimensional way where countless men are using you to orgasm!’.
Arabella contradicted herself. She said that she does it because she enjoys pleasing people, but then said that ‘women enjoy sex.’ So, which is it? Does she like pleasing or does she like sex?
Stacey then asked Arabella if she was part of the problem of internalised misogyny, by presenting women as commodities, but Arabella didn’t answer the question. She answered another question comparing Only Fans creators to porn stars and saying it’s better for them as they are seen as ‘real’.
Lily made the most cogent point by saying, ‘We need to stop blaming women for men’s actions’. Sadly, Stacey didn’t make more of this point and Lily didn’t elaborate. Maybe Lily has more insight than she lets on.
Later Lily admits to Stacey that she is still friends with her old school friends, but most of them don’t want to be linked to her publicly, for fear of an impact on their careers.
Later, at the ‘event’, about 20 (mostly masked) men appear, including one of the young men in the high vis from earlier. To his credit, he remained unmasked and apparently happy to talk on camera.
After the event, Lily, visibly bloodshot, was chatting to Stacey while attempting to wipe dried semen from her face. She had already explained that the ‘event’ was a ‘bukkake’ – lots of men ejaculating on her face.
Stacey asked if any of the men smelt and Lily agreed that a few of them ‘could have done with a shower beforehand,’ and said that she will make them shower next time.
Despite this, Lily was keen for Stacey to think that the event was ‘not seedy or shameful.’ Stacey avoided this question by saying that she didn’t find it sexy.
Lily said that the video would be sold to subscribers for around £30 and said she might make £100,000 for it. She said she made ‘7 figures’ from the ‘100 men in 24 hours stunt’.
Later, they had a video call with Lily’s parents. This was interesting as it became clear that Lily’s parents do not support what she is doing. Her mother was more poker faced, but her dad was visibly upset and said that when she first told them what she was doing they thought it was just ‘posing in lingerie’.
Lily’s polished veneer began to slip during this session, and she cried a lot, off camera, refusing to be seen crying on camera. Later with Stacey she reflected that it was ‘selfish’ of her to put her parents through this. Stacey asked Lily if it was ‘worth it’ and Lily said, ‘it gives me something to wake up and do. I must live my life the way I want to’.
Again, I had the sense that Lily is confused. Her parents are evidently heartbroken and there was clear love between the three of them and Lily is saying that this ‘gives her something to do.’
I sense that she has made so much money, doing something that perhaps felt enjoyable to begin with (behind the camera, receiving compliments, feeling beautiful), but that it became out of control, competition grew, she became greedy, and now, she has dug herself such a hole and so publicly that she doesn’t know how to get out of it.
She is a millionaire. She could invest her money and never have to work again. But she needs to do something with her time and the prospect of admitting defeat and coming back with her tail between her legs must feel too much to bear.
But Lily isn’t really the problem, is she? She is another female victim of the misogynistic attitude of male entitlement to unfettered sexual access to women and girls that has grown exponentially, largely due to the internet making selling and buying sex more accessible and ‘mainstream’ than ever before.
Stacey acknowledged in her conclusion that the demand is not going away. This is why the Government must implement the Nordic Model – to educate men and society that women and girls are not for sale. Men do not have an inalienable right to ejaculation inspiration of any sort at any time.