‘I have epilepsy. Punters would shag me when I was fitting.’

These powerful and moving pieces were sent in through our Share Your Story page, which provides a space for women to tell of their experiences of the sex trade in their own words.

Anonymous

I was forced into prostitution by my partner – I funded his drink habit.

I have epilepsy and would frequently fit – that made him more money. Punters would shag me when I was fitting.

In that time, I was beaten, forced to “work” for his friends, subjected to FGM, and violated with stuff from coat hangers to lightbulbs. I was filmed and don’t yet to this day know how I got out alive – but I did – myself.

I’m in my fifties now but that time in my life never leaves me. I have no self-esteem and feel I have no right to the life I have worked hard for. I now have fantastic friends and through hard graft I don’t think I could have a better life. But I’m haunted which rips me of what little confidence I have.

Surely something can be done so other girls don’t have to live like that?

I’m blessed I survived, but I am still living that nightmare.

Jessica

I started sex work when I was 22. I was still very young and naive. I didn’t know it then but I was suffering from CPTSD as a result of a very traumatic childhood.

I did sex work in order to get away from where I lived. At first it felt great. I started off charging £100 per hour and to receive £100 per hour (more than I made in my day job) cash in hand felt amazing. I felt free.

Then I got raped.

I naively agreed to a car meet as I was very new to the industry. This big heavy-set man pushed himself on top of me and put his penis inside of me whilst I begged him to stop. I was crying, saying please, please get off of me. When a knock came at the window, he did. But we were in a rural area and I needed a lift home. He convinced me to blow him off, and I obliged, scared for my life. He eventually gave me a significantly reduced sum of money.

At first, I thought it was a blip.

Then I had a client not long after who purposely ripped the condom in doggy style. He had warts all over his cock so I told him I wouldn’t be able to suck him off without a condom. After he left, I checked his feedback and realised he had been seeing women who offered bareback sex. Devastated, I went to the clinic the next day. I was put on Prep and had to endure a month of torture. Just sitting on my own, depressed, barely leaving the house.

Not long after, I continued.

I felt crushed, I had no sense of self-worth.

I continued with no incidents until 2020.

Lock down happened.

After taking a break I realised that not only am I better than this, any woman is better than this.

The thought of strangers groping me now, essentially paying to use my holes as a self-masturbation tool makes me feel sick.

I realised during lockdown that these men never cared about me, and that they never will. That they literally don’t even see me as a person. That they see me as an object.

I regret having ever entered the industry. And I don’t think any woman should ever enter the industry. It is a truly sick and disturbing industry.

No, sex work is not work.

Share your story

If you’ve been in the sex trade, or have been affected by it in other less direct ways, and would like to share your story anonymously, please see our Share Your Story page.

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