‘My father started sexually abusing me before I was two years old…’

Jackie sent this harrowing piece, about how her father sexually abused and sex trafficked her when she was a child, through our Share Your Story page. This provides a space for women to tell of their experiences of the sex trade in their own words.

I’m a survivor of familial sex trafficking. My father started sexually abusing me before I was even two years old and by age six, he was selling me to strangers for sex. This went on until I was about 16 years old.

He threatened my younger brother and me, saying he would kill our mother if we ever told anyone what he was doing. My parents separated when I was six and our mom moved out of town, leaving us with our dad. She thought it was best to leave us in our home, school and with our friends.

My dad moved us to a country town for a few months for work. We were completely isolated from everyone. We were only allowed to talk to our mom a couple of times during the six months we lived there, and weren’t allowed a visit.

My dad bought us a cute little, fluffy white puppy. We only had it just long enough to become very attached to it. He took us out to our usual fishing spot, which was very remote. We would drive in for a mile and walk for another mile. This time he brought the puppy with us. He also brought his rifle and when we got to our fishing spot, he shot our puppy in front of us to prove that he would do the same to our mother.

We moved back home to London and the first visit our mom had, she kept us. So, from then on, we saw our dad every other weekend and for a month in the summer. The sexual, physical and psychological abuse and trafficking still went on during our visits.

He also sometimes would drive to the small town we lived in and pick me up on my walk home from school. When he did this, he would take me out to a remote dirt road somewhere and sexually abuse me, then drop me back off where he had picked me up so I could continue my walk home from school.

Being so young I never actually saw the money change hands. My father would take me to a hotel in London, leave me in the waiting room and go back to the room with the sex buyer. I assume this is when the money and any agreements would take place. They would come back out and my dad would take my hand and place it in the hand of the buyer, who would then lead me back to their room. When it was over my dad would come pick me up.

My father would drug my food or drinks with some sort of sedative on a regular basis before he abused me or sold me, as well as making me drink alcohol. This would make me less resistant to the abuse.

I have a severe spider phobia due to at least one incident of torture by my father. Around 10 years old I had an aquarium filled with bugs and spiders that I had collected, and one night my father came into my room as I slept, pulled the covers back and poured them all out onto me. I had spiders everywhere, even in my mouth! I honestly don’t know if it was a punishment for something or if he just did it for kicks.

When I was 11 or 12 years old my father met my stepmom. She immediately started sexually abusing me as well, and would set up “dates” for me. She was just as bad or even worse than my father was. She kept my brother and me and our two step brothers constantly at odds. I assume it was so we didn’t bond and fight against the abuse (divide and conquer).

There is so much more to my story, but these are the basics. Growing up I was a very rebellious child/teen who took everything out on my mom and stepfather. I hated myself and felt completely unloved and worthless. I honestly believed that I was only good for one thing… to be used by men (and women… my first memory of being sold was to a woman).

After years of trauma counselling and other therapies, I have healed quite well. I now work as a peer support worker helping other survivors and have recently started sharing my story.

Share your story

If you’ve been in the sex trade, or have been affected by it in other less direct ways, and would like to share your story anonymously, please see our Share Your Story page.

5 thoughts on “‘My father started sexually abusing me before I was two years old…’

    1. Sorry for your abuse and your dad and step mom should have been arrested and charged for they’re crimes against you, but I am proud of you for making a stand on child abuse and rape against everyone cause Noone deserves to be treated like that at all.

  1. I am so grateful of you and having the courage to write about your abuse. I am a mother of 2 boys 8 and 11….this horrific lifestyle came to me when my 11 year old acting out, crying out for help in kindergarten. My son would ask certain boys to meet jim in the bathroom to perform anal sex and when he was caught, the poor baby told the truth step by step, unfortunately he nor I knew the position his father was in the county we lived. And CPS states on open records I received, “parent notified “…..6 years later the courts have given my ex sole with no geographical restrictions and as their mother my abuse has been 6 years off law enforcement from 6 different entities in the DFW area to randomly show up for random complaints. The abuse hasn’t stop since then and in the summer of 2018 the judge gave my ex sole….as the mother I tried and continue to advocate for my boys however when your in with the local county DA I’m up against multiple LEA that cover up the on going abuse of every kind. Truly cover up by way of Allen TX lea. I thought everything was going ok however when this past April 2019 my youngest has 2 broken limbs and did an outcry at the area children’s hospital which reported to CPS which then informed Allen PD which would stop any investigation to the on going smear campaign and gang stalking of their “crazy unfit mother not suitable to provide a safe living” for my children. Everyone of the reports to CPS is more horrific than the previous one. ALLEN TX PD has taken my ex Nd his family in and protects the adults instead of providing the care for my children especially since my youngest has been trying to heal a broken leg since March 2019 all to make sure no one figures out my ex took him for the leg pain instead pays the drs off to state its a bone infections avoiding the necessary care he needed. Since April 2019, I have been blind sided with all my devices have been and still are remotely access to filtered emails to prevent help for my boys, I received an illegal search and seizure on my Addison TX apartment April 9, which put me in jail for random charges and I am still dealing with the fear of a blue warrant issued by 5 or more LEA all to silence me and terminate my rights as a mother without not a one CPS caseworker to meet me in person. I have been to jail 6 times since that search and I am a person with a principal cert that has since been put on criminal hold. Just writing this email makes my stomach roll and I am a sitting duck, CPS STILL with an open case to now I am being told the broken leg is due to me being a prostitute junkie method dealer. I can get no help from LE, DA OFFICE nor Collin county sheriff’s office because they are all involved in protecting the adults instead of my children whom are being drugged like you have stated yourself, abused in every form to no longer being able to see their mother since July 2019. Honestly I couldn’t tell you where my children are located and LE tells they know where my children are located but we can’t tell me the mother. So I go every Friday I am court ordered to pick up my boys with an empty home it seems to be ending up 4 deep with Allen PD filing false charges on criminal trespassing to vandalism of my exs home….I am to have them for Thanksgiving however my ex has refused this time as well along with lies from crimes against children detective lying to my face when she was the one investigating the so called criminal trespassing and vandalism. Im so lost right now as my leg buzzes from an ankle monitor placed for those false charges I wrote of early on to me wanting to reach out to everyone asking for help advice to help my children whom I miss very much and love deeply. Any advice you could give a mother of these 2 boys that I know are so internal that something not good will come out of Lall this. Please tell me what would be the best action to take place in order to helping my 2 boys? I thank you for your time and concern for my boys?

    1. We are so very sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately it is too common a story. We are based in the UK and are not in a position to offer practical help but we send love and solidarity.

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