In this article, Jenna, a prostitution survivor, discusses the documentary, ‘1000 Men and Me – the Bonnie Blue Story’, which Channel 4 introduces like this: “When adult content creator Bonnie Blue announced that she’d slept with 1057 men in 12 hours, was she dangerously pandering to male fantasies or being an empowered sex-positive entrepreneur?”
Watching ‘1000 Men and Me – the Bonnie Blue Story’ was not easy for me, as someone who knows what it’s like to receive money for sex. Bonnie Blue, if you don’t know, is an online porn creator known for having sex for free with her fans (rather than with other porn actors who usually are paid). Her fans might not be paid, but Bonnie is clearly doing this for money – the money she will subsequently make.
Near the beginning and throughout the documentary, we hear Bonnie asking male strangers to ‘rearrange her insides’. This conjures up images – not of glamour or empowerment – but rather of violence and degradation. And yet Bonnie insists she’s in control. She claims she doesn’t allow people to sexualise her; that she sexualises herself. She tells us that having sex with her fans is something she enjoys and that she only engages in acts that she consents to.
Seeing a glimpse of her world and her team behind the scenes, it would appear that she certainly does have more control than the average woman who is paid for sex. It is Bonnie that gets the stories out to the press, it is Bonnie that is pushing the boundaries with ideas for content and as she says herself, “If at any point I say stop, you have to respect that”.
As I was watching the documentary I couldn’t help but draw parallels with my own experiences selling sex. While I probably saw about 10 men a day rather than 1000, to me it still felt like an extreme activity. Bonnie even likens it to being an athlete and says that she likes to push herself. When I sold sex, I didn’t have a team behind me. Some days I was completely alone. There were certainly never any men around for security or to help ensure that my limits weren’t pushed.
We hear that Bonnie was just fine during the 1000+ men event and that there appears to be no dissociation and no pain. Yet we find out that shortly afterwards she had the worst flu of her life and was not able to post her usual social media content due to being bedbound.
Do we really know the immediate and long-term impact of such extreme activities?
For myself, it was only long afterwards that it all caught up with me, when I was at a point that I could process it and sit with it fully. My numbers were considerably lower than Bonnie’s, but the men didn’t just have a few seconds like Bonnie’s fans, they usually had a whole hour. Sometimes even longer.
I would argue that most, if not all, women who sell sex understand extremes and need to switch off from their bodies in order to continue doing what they are doing. This is the psychological process know as dissociation, which has serious consequences.
When I talk about selling sex, I mean the act of having sex with another person for money. Whether that be in a car, a house or in front of a camera. There is an interview with Bonnie’s mother who thinks that people are hypocrites when it comes to Bonnie’s lifestyle and that everyone would get their ‘bits’ out for a million pounds. She’s probably right, there probably are a lot of people who would have photographs taken for that amount of money.
But what Bonnie does is not raunchy photoshoots. It’s putting her body on the line. She is openly telling men to degrade her. There is an ongoing risk of disease. Of injury. Of death. She mentions that she hasn’t been out on her own in six months because of the constant death threats she receives.
Following the 1000 men stunt and issues with OnlyFans not allowing her to show the content, Bonnie goes to America to shoot with porn performers. The sessions are with fewer men but she admits it causes her pain. Male performers tend to have much larger penises than the average OnlyFans voyeur and she doesn’t seem happy about this twist in events.
One of the most distressing parts of the documentary for me was seeing the very young women that go along to Bonnie’s events in order to boost their own OnlyFans subscriber numbers. They do not get paid to be there but being tagged by Bonnie is enough of a reason for them to go due to her popularity.
Bonnie arranges a classroom ‘gangbang’ with young content creators, most of whom had only previously filmed themselves alone or with a partner. One young woman who is 21 (but looks much younger) is asked if she thinks her subscribers like her because she looks underage. She’s very clear that this is exactly why she’s popular.
The young women claim this type of work is better than a 9-5 or earning the minimum wage and one mentions being in control. Watching them say these things makes me weep. We all think we are in control at that age. Bonnie recognises their naivety and relishes their nerves. She thinks that their reactions will be more real and therefore more popular.
Bonnie exclaims that “sometimes sex is intimidating” and I realise that none of the women have control here, not even the one earning millions.
We find out at the end that she would like to appear on ‘I’m a celebrity’ one day and I can’t help thinking yes do that. Do all the regular reality shows you can. None of those will give you a disease. None of those will have you questioning your existence in years to come or give you panic attacks when you least expect it.
To all the young women thinking this is how to make your fortune, turn the camera off and leave it off. Sex isn’t an extreme sport and you are not a competitor in a dystopian sexual Hunger Games. Bonnie deserves more and so do you.